When someone says hello

One thing I do love about using family tree websites is being able to contact someone who may be a relation through the same connections through research. Usually it is me who does the messaging and chasing, but for once someone contacted me.

Over a course of one weekend it went to elation to annoyance. I was contacted about a twice great uncle I had in my tree that they also had. They wanted to know my connection to them. After an exchange in messages and explanations I decided to let them look at my tree because as many of you know it is easier to show someone then to explain people. I was happy to let them look as it saved me an explanation or two and them to have a little mooch around.

So after allowing them to have a look at my tree I received an email saying how we were not related and that I was wrong. The reason for it was based on a death certificate they had (that could or could not be the same person), they wished me the best of luck in my research. With that I was happy that I thought there was a connection to a family I had little connections to, to being annoyed that I was contacted by them to be told I am wrong.

Has anyone had this experience?

What annoyed me was the amount of time and effort everyone goes into researching a branch of a family tree to then be told I am wrong because they have different research and outcomes. To be honest I thought it was a little rude and rushed on their behalf. In a way it did knock my confidence as I do doubt myself at times with my research, but for a stranger to say you are wrong does make you question yourself even more. Then it makes me question is there anything else wrong? Or am I even wrong in the first place?

I wish people would be careful in how they approach people when asking if there is a connection. Remember be kind and be polite.


2 thoughts on “When someone says hello

  1. chmjr2 says:

    We all make mistakes and I have made more than my share. So when someone tells me I am wrong I go into a double check mode. Perhaps the wording they used came across in a way they never meant. I would ask them for a copy of the death cert. they have. It could easily be emailed to you. That being said we should all try to be careful when we communicate with each other and try to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstanding.

    I have been the one who has tried to let someone know they may have made a mistake. An example I have used before is on one tree my wife’s grandmother death date was 30 years too early. When I pointed out this error I was told they were right and that my information was wrong. It left me wondering who that person was in our wedding pictures looking very much alive. I did send them some proof but as of a year ago they still have it all wrong. So I guess working with people is at best a double edge sword and we all should be diplomats. I wish it had worked out better for you, but perhaps the next contact will be a major genealogy find.

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